Return of the Jedi Master to Gobisia

The Jedi Master of Gobisia a.k.a Gobi No.1 felt the need to get back to gobidom after a self imposed hiatus to pursue randomness of a different (read serious) kind. One of the key characteristics to become a Jedi Master in Gobisia is to exhibit extreme levels of restraint. Despite many failed attempts by the lordship Gobi No.2 a.k.a Gobi No.840, the Jedi master had to exhibit calmness, restraint and observe without reacting or responding. After all many a great wars have been won by keeping quiet right? Take for example Narasimha Rao or N D Tiwari for that matter! Keep quiet and the war will be forgotten. Gobisia which has been carved out as a new state from the Republic of India owing to a fast unto death (again of a different kind - this means type very fast and hence this post should have taken exactly 3 minutes 42.143789 seconds to complete and posted) by the Jedi Master himself and the lordship Gobi No.2 announced the same in the last post a while back. However, the Jedi Master decided to come out of the self imposed silence and take all due credits from the Gobi No.2 for having formed Gobisia! :)

The War of the Gobis was going haywire and certain members who claim to be fans of the Gobidom citizenship have been craving for more. Such craving for unnecessary violence of the third kind will lead to bad dreams, pottied underwear, kids with a liking for horrendous holly and bollywood war films and fear of owls. Beware!!! They may even be subjected to continuous re-runs of the epic Big B movie Major Saab without a break for susu, potty or even winking! BAAH! Naansenj! Even the Jedi Master shudders at this prospect!

The non-existent readers of the Gobi Blog are hereby warned not to indulge in such craving going forward. You shall now be subjected to your daily dose of meditation tips, medication and sugar cubes for your cravings.

Gobi No.2 has been subjected to intense counselling for the war craving, violence hungry nature. Such a revelation may result either in a loud outburst or a whimsical release of laughing gas by lordship Gobi No.2. We shall the wait and the watch.

Long live Gobisia! Long live Gobidom! Long live the Jedi Master! :)

Desi-pottic Demoncratic Biarchy of Gobisia

We the benevolent despots and desi-pots dispensing and determining the dubious destiny of the Dyspeptic Democratic Dictatorship of Gobisia, having resolved to constitute Gobisia into a sovereign and bankrupt e-state, and secure for its tyrannical Gobis:

• Dementia – asocial, psychotic and amoral;
• Crookedness – of thought, expression, unbelief, distrust and denigration;
• Inequality of status, opportunity and income
  And to promote among them all;
• Farternity – assuring the asphyxiation of any individuals standing behind; disunity, discord and disintegration of Gobisia;

In the whimsical autocracy of the Phool-Gobi , do hereby this twenty-seventh day of November 2009, do hereby disown, detract and inflict on other Gobis this constitution!

War of the Gobis VIII

 

Gobi No. 420 is a craven multaal! It is teh running teh away from the phighting!!! Abe, ae Gobi. No. 420! Tune agar erumma maadu ka doodh piya hain tho maidaan-e-jung mein uthar jao! Bhaagta kyaa hein darpok!!

Gobi No. 420 is a kirukku payale! Arivikettavam! Paithiyam!

It is suffering from un moolai thuru piduchiruchhu! A.k.a., un GOBI thuru piduchiruchhu!

There is no other reason for it to run away from the great war of the Gobis!! Gobi No. 420, stand and phight!!

Poda vendru!!

War of the Gobis VII

Demented erumma maadu a.k.a. panri-thalaya a.k.a. Gobi No. 420 a.k.a. Gobi No. 377 has taken leave of his Gobi!!Gobi No. 420 so spreadsheetally challenged that it is spewing jealous calumniations at the munificent Gobi No. 2! In fact Gobi No. 420's spreadsheet skills are so legendary that it is known to check the sums of list of numbers in a spreadsheet using a desk calculator! Gobi No. 420 probably thinks that spreadsheets have all those little boxes because they are like the square ruled notebooks used by kindergärtners to learn their numbers! So I would suggest that Gobi No. 420 should first practice his numbers from 1 to 12 before trying to pronounce the word 'spreadsheet'. (I wouldn't recommend Gobi No. 420 to practice counting beyond 12 because that would require it to remove its shoes!)

So Gobi No. 420, keep to your silly pictures and graphics and 'creatives' or whatever woozy wishy-washy nonsensical comic book 'brand' stuff you are capable of indulging in and say not a word about the self-effulgent elegance of mathematics, the queen of all sciences!! Especially, keep your ramblings about advertisia marketoma, the queer of all diseases far far away!!

War of the Gobis VI

The erstwhile Gobi No.2, who has been re-christened Gobi No.840 has been going around tom-toming its ability on mathemeticia anaconda (or the lack of it due to the excessive usage of spreadsheeto microsoftopia) by changing the numbers of the other members of the 'Gobi'hood.
The Makda is roaming around with the help of free time gained from vacationo mussouria has overtaken the noble Gobi No.1, who has been busy indulging in seriouso worka!

Ergo! Gobi No.2 a.k.a Makda a.k.a narlacha bondu a.k.a gajrachye nak, shall be referred to as Gadhav Murkha!

He who spends time on such profoundly useless activities such as responding to status messages on FB, during vacationo mussouria shall be banished from the honorary clandestine society of "Gobihood" on taking this war any further :)
Mind it!!!

AXE EFFECT!

Just received this as a forward mail. Considering the fact that the veracity of this information cannot be verified, this immediately qualified to find it's palce under the aegis of 'Gobi'hood.

Unable to attract even a single girl, frustrated man sues AXE
New Delhi. In what could prove to be a major marketing and legal embarrassment for Hindustan Unilever Limited (HUL), a 26-year-old man has filed a case against the FMCG company, which owns the Axe brand of men grooming products, for ‘cheating’ and causing him ‘mental suffering’. The plaintiff has cited his failure to attract any girl at all even though he’s been using Axe products for over seven years now. Axe advertisements suggest that the products help men in instantly attracting women.

Vaibhav Bedi, the petitioner, also surrendered all his used, unused and half-used deodorant sprays, perfume sticks and roll-ons, anti-perspirants, aftershaves, body washes, shampoos, and hair gels to the court, and demanded a laboratory test of the products and narcotics test of the brand managers of Axe. Vaibhav was pushed to take this step when his bai (maid) beat him with a broom when he tried to impress her by appearing naked in front of her after applying all the Axe products.
No girl ever asked Vaibhav to call her.
“Where the Hell is Axe effect? I’ve been waiting for it for over seven years. Right from my college to now in my office, no girl ever agreed to even go out for a tea or coffee with me, even though I’m sure they could smell my perfumes, deodorants and aftershaves. I always applied them in abundance to make sure the girls get turned on as they show in the television. Finally I thought I’d try to impress my lonely bai who had an ugly fight with her husband and was living alone for over a year. Axe effect my foot!” Vaibhav expressed his unhappiness.
Vaibhav claims that he had been using all the Axe products as per the company’s instructions even since he first bought them. He argued that if he couldn’t experience the Axe effect despite using the products as directed, either the company was making false claims or selling fake products.
“I had always stored them in cool and dry place, and kept them away from direct light or heat. I’d always use a ruler before applying the spray and make sure that the distance between the nozzle and my armpit was at least 15 centimeters. I’d do everything they told. I even beat up my 5-year-old nephew for coming near my closet, as they had instructed it to keep away from children’s reach. And yet, all I get is a broom beating from my ugly bai.” Vaibhav expressed his frustration.
Vaibhav claims that he had to do go a lot of mental suffering and public humiliation due to the lack of Axe effect and wants HUL to compensate him for this agony. An advocate in Karkardooma court, who happened to mistake Vaibhav for some deodorant vendor when he entered the court premises with all the bottles, has now offered to take up his case in the court. HUL has been served a legal notice in this regard.
HUL has officially declined to comment on the case citing the subject to be sub judice, but our sources inform that the company was worried over the possible outcomes of the case. The company might argue that Vaibhav was hopelessly unattractive and unintelligent and didn’t possess the bare minimum requirements for the Axe effect to take place. Officially HUL has not issued any statement, but legal experts believe that HUL could have tough time convincing the court.
“HUL might be tempted to take that line of argument, but it is very risky. There is no data to substantiate the supposition that unattractive and unintelligent men don’t attract women. In fact some of the best looking women have been known to marry and date absolutely ghoulish guys. I’d suggest that the company settles this issue out of court.” noted lawyer Ram Jhoothmalani said.

War of the Gobis V

Gobi No. 377, a.k.a. Gobi No. 420 seems to be suffering from BSE (Buffalo Spongiform Encephalopathy a.k.a., भूसा-भेज़ा-भैँसा) in addition to advertisia marketoma only the combined effects of two degenerative diseases of the central nervous system (a.k.a. hole-between-the-ears syndrome) can explain the said Gobi's truant behaviour that demonstrates Gobi No. 377 (a.k.a. Gobi No. 420, the erstwhile Gobi No. 1) is a demented erumma-maadu!

Nothing else can explain this irresponsible errant behaviour of wasting weeks of the ongoing War without joining battle with the gallant and noble Sir Gobi No. 2!!

The said pandri-headed Gobi No. 377 a.k.a Gobi No. 420 is instead wasting time recalling brands!! It had better be branded with red hot pandri-iron so that its recollection is not unduly impaired!

Bah!!

War of the Gobis IV

Gobi No. 420, the alleged to be Gobi No. 1 is a hare-brained kazhuthai! Its indiscriminate use of CTRL+C and CTRL+V has demonstrated that advertisia-marketoma has degenerated any innovative or creative capacities possessed by it!

Going by the absurd contents of the previous post it is apparent that Gobi No. 420 is inordinately obsessed with simian buttocks and other guys' lips!! It is therefore being suspected whether Gobi No. 420 is, in effect, Gobi No. 377, a.k.a., Gobi-Dostana!!

War of the Gobis III

Gobi No.2 a.k.a Gobi No.840 has performed the most illogical, reprehensible act of his life. He went to a tamilian who lent Goundamani expletives, which were unnecessarily hurled at the honorable Gobi No.1. Payback time baby (read baybeeee)!!!!

1. Seriously - Gobi No.1 with his narlacha bondu has managed to infringe copyrights of Goundamani and hurls it on a fellow tamilian. Ergo, Gobi No.840 has lost all rights to talk about seriousness
2. Ctrl+C & Ctrl+V happen to be the birthright of all Gobis so long as credit is given. Which was given. However, Gobi No.2 a.k.a gajrachye nak has 'infringed' and did not give credit to the Goundar. Very unacceptable!
3. Holiness??? ha ha ha ha ha: Tujha hotanza ranga makdasa bodcha sarka aahe. Unholiness personified. BAAAH!!! NAANSENJ!!!

Phew! That was quite a task!

Astalavista Baby (read bay beeeeeee)!

War of the Gobis II

Gobi No. 1 is the ruinificator of this randomified bloggemenon. It has teh ruinified teh blog by:

1. getting serious
2. violating the creative alcohol of these hollowed precincts by befouling it through indiscriminate use of CTRL+C and CTRL+V
3. hurling hideous insinuations at the exalted his holiness Gobi No. 2

Gobi No. 1 therefore needs to be severely reprimanded for this irresponsible behaviour! This shall be done by castigating the said Gobi by changing its number. Hence forth, Gobi No. 1 is re-numbered as Gobi No. 420.