Beware of ‘gobi’bral hemorrhage causing Stress Drone Attacks - Gobi No.2 has just been attacked.

Close on the heels of the US Drone attack causing the ‘reported death of Taliban Chief Baitullah Mehsud, a drone attack of a different kind has been reported in Mumbai – the financial capital and the favorite target of terror attacks (as if the locals weren’t causing enough damage, we have foreign terrorists joining the mayhem)!
‘Stress Drones’ a low flying Invisible Floating Occurence (IFO) which have been known to cause serious damage to the gobi has been encountered in the suburbs of the financial capital called Andheri where Gobi No.2 lives. It has been reported that the attack was a focused, targeted attack and has cause serious damage to the 'Gobi' lodged inside Gobi No.2. It has also been confirmed (sadly so) that Gobi No.2 is now suffering from Gobibral hemorrhage.
Gobibral hemorrhage is a serious disease which causes prolonged instances of logic. It makes the affected individual live in a world of logic. Isn't that scary??? (OOOOHHHHH)

This results the patient experiencing symptoms like nausea (makes him go ‘yuck yuck’), expectations of logic ('Well duh! How else does one go about it? I mean we are not amoebae to split vertically and become two young ‘uns!'), logical conclusions from the illogical pursuits of the gobi-world (Indubitably. Delusions of Shoe-makerism. They will land one in a theatre all right. A bloody OPERATING THEATRE!!), unnecessary use of provocative and ‘oh so parliamentary’ language (…it would be a para-choot jump), causes infuriated response to perfectly normal ‘pursuits of randomness’ and many more…
It is our earnest request to the non-existent readers of this blog to stay away from the following:

• Prolonged staring at complex spreadsheets
• Listening to ‘The Economist’ while commuting to work
• Break up components of a pasta (or any other food item) to ‘carbohydrates’, proteins, ammonia, helium, cyanide, process of photosynthesis, saliva or its million other components.
• Reading everything from ‘Shakespear’ to ‘shake my spear’ (including packets on which sugar is packed from the local kirana store)
• Avoid Auto-rickshaw, cycle-rickshaw, Sam Maneckshaw, Deepak Shaw, or John ex-shaw

Staying away from the above causes ‘perfect pursuers of randomness’ like Gobi No.1 and can cause happyness too.
Considering Gobi No.2 is suffering from the Stress Drone Attack caused ‘Gobibral Hemerrhage’, it is suggested that the readers (if any) to forgive such drastic pursuit of logic by the author. We shall give him due time and a holiday from viewing spreadsheets and things will be normal again.
God bless ‘Gobi No.2’. May his soul rest in peas.

Note: This is a serious attack. During a conversation Gobi No.2 expected usage of punctuations in posts from Gobi No.1, which beats the very raison d'être of this blog. Beware! This is a very contagious disease!!!